The gospel of the Goonwolf, according to the Jurr
1:1 And the Ben said: "Beware of the Goonwolf."
1:2 Then he said: "Write this down."
1:3 He started knocking on his chest, underneath his shirt, with his fist.
1:4 He said: "You see this? My heart is beating like a jackhammer. Write this down."

2:1 "Don't write about me getting high. Because I am a God and I will smite you."
2:2 Luke's new nickname is Plackadacka.
2:3 You know why? Cause ACDC is ackadacka and Luke is Placka.
2:4 Makes sense, said the Lord.

3:1 Luke handed over a beer.
3:2 The Ben said: "You can share that with me. I will be your yoke said the Lord."
3:3 And the Lord blessed Luke's neck with a piercing.

4:1 "In Straya we have a holy beverage. The Goon.
4:2 He who drinks alot of Goon is Goonbag Garry.
4:3 A Goonwolf is thousand times a Goonbag. Mostly you find him with a moustache and a pipe, like me.
4:4 Every full moon the Goonwolf cries at the moon, drinking Goon. On a ship of beers.
4:5 Can you read that to me?"

5:1 If this was a bible, I'd straight up read that shit.
5:2 Said the Lord.
5:3 Said the Lord.
5:4 Axxo Lineken is a Goonwolf who makes words disappear.
5:5 Said the Lord.
5:6 Suck up the Goon.
5:7 Don't write that down because the abbo's will be offended.

6:1 On a scale from one to book... Yeah.
6:2 And the Lord said: you question your God.
6:3 Ow, my anus, said the narrator.
6:4 The Ben said: "If I'd had to choose a biblecharacter to be... I'd be King Solomon. He rooted a girl everyday. He had like a 1000 wives. He could root every day, several girls.
6:5 Jesus was awesome cause he could do alot of tricks and all, but I'd choose Solomon, cause he rooted everyday."
6:6 This other guy spit on me dad. He straight up moustached that dude. Write this down.

7:1 My favorite part of the bible is: "Write this down."
7:2 Do you believe your eyes or do you believe your Lord?
7:3 How much does it look like a dude is standing behind me?
7:4 Goonwolf says otherwise.

8:1 "I read the bible today and it said Luke will go to hell.
8:2 And I will get alot of second chances.
8:3 And alot of shitfuckshitfuck."